Archive for the ‘Vatican’ Tag

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Pope Francis made the comment in a news conference with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.

“Our recent meeting in the Vatican and my presence today in Palestine attest to the good relations existing between the Holy See and the State of Palestine,” the Pope said.

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Bill Maher “Now, the other great story this week from overseas, my favorite Pope, the current Pope, Pope Frank.  Pope Frank fired the Bishop of bling.  Have you read about this guy?  There is this Bishop, full Bishop in the Catholic Church in Germany, who spent 42 million dollars renovating his residence.  Boy that basket adds up, you know the one they pass around.  They don’t call them the flock for nothing ’cause they get fleeced.  But OK, so 42 million dollars.  He had a 20 thousand dollar bathtub, a four million dollar private chapel with a retractable roof, this guy was out of control with the spending.  He was getting altar boys drunk on Crystal…But, I gotta say, I do love the Pope.  I love this Pope with not having it.  He is all about the humility.  This Pope made the bleeping Bishop come to Vatican City.  He marched him past the 180 marble columns in St Peter’s Square and into the 90 room gilded palace where he lives in his own country, and he says, we do not do over the top here.”

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http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/424177/february-26-2013/popewatch-indeschism-2013—one-pope-over-the-line

Stephen Colbert “We all know that when a Cardinal is elevated to the Papacy he becomes the heir of Saint Peter, and therefore chooses a new name.  So, naturally, now that Benedict the 16th is leaving office, he has asked that we call him simply, Benedict the 16th.  OK, OK, that’s understandable.  He doesn’t want to get new towels and stuff.  But folks, that’s not all.  He says he’s still going to be Pope Emeritus, we’ll have to call him His Holiness, he’ll continue to wear the white robes, and live in the Vatican.  Folks, that means there’s going to be two Pontiffs.  We’re one Pope over the line, sweet Jesus, one Pope over the line.”

 

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From the Feb. 25, 2013, edition of “Viewpoint.”

John Fugelsang:

Cardinal Keith O’Brien, the most senior Catholic official in Britain, is abruptly resigning amidst allegations of “inappropriate acts.” Now, when I heard that news the first thing I thought was, “Oh my God, not again.” At this point, letting your son be an altar boy is like letting your daughter date Chris Brown for the second time.

But it turns out, Cardinal O’Brien’s actually accused of making unwanted sexual advances towards fully grown adult priests. One seminarian claims O’Brien offered to give him a full tour of the rectory back in 1980.

At this point, it seems almost kind of quaint to hear of a priest hitting on someone old enough to shave. But O’Brien has also called homosexuality immoral, he’s against gay adoption, and says marriage equality is “harmful to the physical, mental and spiritual well-being of those involved.” As opposed to celibacy. Once again, a Catholic who says, “Hate the sin, love the sinner,” is revealed to really hate the sinner but kind of dig the sin.

So, now O’Brien is out and this means he won’t be able to vote for the new pope at the papal conclave, also known as “Vatican Idol.” You know who does get to vote for the new pope, my friends? Cardinal Roger Mahony, who, like Benedict when still an archbishop, shielded pedophiles and moved them to new parishes.

Do you follow the logic here? Hit on some guy 30 years ago, no pope vote. Protect child rape, cast your ballots.

Add this to reports of widespread corruption within the Vatican — a secret cabal of gay priests, or as some call them, priests; claims the Vatican bank is laundering money for the Italian mob; the pope’s butler leaking documents in the Vatileaks scandal, doing time in the Vatican jail (they have a jail, by the way), then somehow being pardoned and now he’s allowed to live in the Vatican with his wife upon his release? After that? This is like an episode of “Vatican Abbey,” and it helps that many of these men already dress like Maggie Smith.

Plus, Connecticut Monsignor Kevin Wallin is accused of operating a meth ring and owning an adult entertainment store he used to launder his money. Yes, it seems almost wholesome at this point, from breaking bread to “Breaking Bad.”

Yet, the Vatican still thinks the church is going to be saved by a new pope, maybe someone from Africa or South America, but still a fundamentalist right-wing clone.

No, my friends. If you want to restore the church as the world leader in fighting poverty, war and social injustice, the next pope has got to be a nun. We need Sister Mary Pissed Off of the Immaculate Ass-Whuppin’ to come into the Vatican and clean up a man-made mess.

Of course, that won’t happen. The Vatican is on a one-way mission to being a third world church, and who called it? The famous Catholic whose birthday we’re celebrating today, George Harrison. In “Vatican P2 Blues,” he wrote about the pope selection process:

Now how come no one really noticed

Puff of white smoke knocked me out

The truth is hiding, lurking, banking

Things they do at night

It’s quite suspicious to say the least.

Thanks, George — talking to you, Rome. A female pope is your chance to man up and move into the 21st century. I know you don’t want to let go of the all-male clown car the Vatican has become, but as ex-Catholic George once said, all things must pass.

http://current.com/shows/viewpoint/videos/john-fugelsangs-advice-to-the-vatican-the-next-pope-has-got-to-be-a-nun/