Archive for the ‘Samantha Bee’ Tag

Quote of the Day   Leave a comment

Jon Stewart “Let’s go live to senior Vatican correspondent Samantha Bee, who is in Rome right now.  Sam, thanks for joining us….We haven’t seen a Papal resignation in 600 years.  What happened here Sam?”

Samantha Bee “Well, let’s just say that he’s had a crisis of faith.”

Stewart “Wow, since when?”

Bee “Well, honestly, since the whole Manti Te’o thing.  The Pope has just started to question a long term relationship with someone he talks to all the time, but has never actually met.”

Quote of the Day   1 comment

Should have been posted October 19, 2012

Stewart “You watched Tuesday night, what did you think of the debate?”

Samantha Bee “Well, the media nailed it Jon.  Total turn off.  You know, on Tuesday night, I personally didn’t take in any of the policy specifics, because, as a woman, I was appalled at how rude and belligerent those two men were to each other, and to that nice waitress that was trying to calm them down.  No.  Uh-uh.”

Stewart “You mean the debate moderator, Candy Crowley?”

Bee “Yea, right.  A lady moderated the debate.  Jon, it took place at 9pm.  A lady would have been home, most likely hand washing the plates she had just hours earlier filled with a nutritious dinner for little Michael and Candy junior.”

Stewart “You’re saying you couldn’t bear to watch the debate?”

Bee “Yes.  We’re women.  We don’t like it when people argue on television.  No thanks.”

Stewart “Sam, Real Housewives is a whole series.  It’s like the most popular series amongst women.  All that is, is arguing.”

Bee “OK.  that’s different.  A, it’s not staged, like a debate, and B, when two women fight, it’s girl on girl.  Its natural and beautiful.  When two guys do it, its just gross.  It’s such a turn off.  Gross.”

Stewart “You see, right there, turn off.  You would never hear a pundit say, oh I think men will find Romney’s tax plan a real turn on.  It doesn’t bother you that these pundits are describing women’s reactions to a Presidential debate in dating site terms, like turn on and turn off?”

Bee “Of course it doesn’t bother me.  Men need to be convinced by the candidates.  Women need to be courted.”

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-october-18-2012/condescent-of-a-woman