Archive for the ‘John Brennan’ Tag

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John Oliver “Speaking of the President, he ended this week having to deal with the imminent release of a major report on the CIA and torture. Leaks suggest that this country is about to have to confront the brutality that has been committed in it’s name.  And, the President attempted to prepare us all for that in a bizarrely casual way.”

President Obama “We did some things that were wrong.  We did a whole lot of things that were right.  But, we tortured some folks.”

Oliver “What? Folks?  When you are admitting one of the darkest chapters in recent American history, it’s maybe best to not come off like an old man in a Country Time lemonade commercial.  ‘Well, that was the day I met your grandmother.  We spent the whole afternoon at the county fair.  Then, that night we tortured some folks.  We did it, and we’ve been together, that’s our story.’  Even the CIA’s conduct toward the Senate committee that wrote the report is proving to be controversial.  Back in March Diane Feinstein (D-CA) accused them of hacking in to the Senate committee’s computers, which CIA director John Brennan thought sounded crazy.”

Brennan March 11, 2014 “The allegations of CIA hacking into Senate computers, nothing could be further from the truth.  We wouldn’t do that.  That’s just beyond the scope of reason.”

Oliver “Uh huh, OK, beyond the scope of reason.  I get it.  Guess what?”

Reporter “CIA director John Brennan apologized today after an internal investigation determined the agency had spied on staff members of the United States Senate.”

Oliver “OK, so it wasn’t so much beyond the scope of reason as it was nestled extremely deep within the scope of reason…This man has either lied to Senators or been guilty of not knowing what his own agency was doing.  At the very least this has got to knock the President’s confidence in John Brennan.”

President Obama “I have full confidence in John Brennan.”

Oliver “How?  How is that possible?  The only way you can have full 100% confidence in him, is if you somehow had 300% confidence in him before all of this happened. In fact Mr President, let me try and put this in terms you might understand.  You really might want to consider disciplining some folks.”


Quote of the Day   1 comment

John Fugelsang:

Today we got to watch the John Brennan confirmation hearings for CIA director, and I gotta say Mr. Brennan came off as the most thoughtful, soft-spoken, reflective man who could also kill you with his bare hands.

John Brennan was kind of like all the members of the Fantastic Four rolled into one — he looks kind of like “The Thing,” he talks like Reed Richards, he can easily set things on fire halfway across the world and he knows how to make CIA docs invisible.

Now, I know that the media’s been trumpeting that drone bombings enjoy widespread support. But so does Honey Boo Boo, and that doesn’t make it right.

Of course, drone warfare is preferable to putting U.S. troops in harm’s way. And it’s the future of warfare, whether we like it or not. Personally, I think anybody who wants to send machines into battle for us needs to watch the first three “Terminator” films.

But I was surprised that no one asked Mr. Brennan about how drone bombs don’t just kill America haters — they create new ones.

I was surprised no one asked him why all adult males are considered combatants and that’s how they keep the civilian death casualties numbers so low.

I was surprised no one asked him about the CIA’s new definition of the word “imminent” for all those imminent threats. Turns out, all they have to do is think you might be a threat one day. Nothing like a little pre-emptive Bush/Cheney nostalgia — forgive us our trespasses as we trespass against those we think might one day trespass against us.

But I guess I was most surprised by Mr. Brennan’s unwillingness to say if waterboarding was torture. He said, “I can’t say if it’s torture, I’m not a lawyer.” The only thing we learned for sure today was that John Brennan should’ve coached Chuck Hagel.

Now, to his credit Mr. Brennan was totally against waterboarding — but is OK with killing Americans for stuff they haven’t done yet because they’re an imminent threat that’s not necessarily imminent. That’s a Jersey thing.

A lot of Democrats will be upset by any criticism of President Obama, but I gotta say, some of us criticize him because we care about his legacy, and even the most hardcore down-the-line Obama defender has to acknowledge it’s a bit screwy to have policies in a world like this where he gets to keep the Nobel Peace Prize but Milli Vanilli had to give the Grammy back.

See, what most Americans don’t know — or don’t think about — won’t hurt them. In fact, I’m pretty sure you could open a waterboarding salon for the housewives of Beverly Hills as long as you told them it was good for the pores.

It’s a certainty, my friends, that Mr. Brennan will be confirmed. I hope he will keep America safe, change the policies that keep America hated and prevent people from wanting to kill Americans — because that’s the only way a so-called war on terror will or can ever be won.