Archive for the ‘Americans’ Tag

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Bill Maher speaking about the Republican reaction to President Obama’s executive order on immigration “They’re so paranoid, Michele Bachmann (R-MN) said these illegal immigrants, they’re gonna to be voting.  OK, there’s no evidence of illegal immigrants ever voting, although they should.  There’s another job Americans won’t do.”

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Bill Maher “New Rule:When you promise the American people that something won’t happen if you change the law, and they you change the law and it does happen, you have to eat a little bleep for it. Oh, I’m not talking about him (shows picture of President Obama), I’m talking about him (shows picture of Chief Justice John Roberts). Twice now, in three years, first with the Citizens United ruling, then with gutting the voting rights act, Chief Justice John Roberts and the conservatives on the Supreme Court changed the law, and promised no bad would come of it, and bad came of it almost immediately. John Roberts is kind of the legal equivalent of the guy in The Hurt Locker, except in his case he always cuts the wrong wire and everything always blows up.

Now, back in June, before they took their summer break, the Supreme Court dropped a big one. They gutted the 1965 voting rights act, which is the law that forced certain states, let’s just say the ones where you might find a Piggly Wiggly, forced those states to get permission from the Justice Department before they made any changes in their voting laws. Why? Well, because in the past these states had been naughty, and had prevented minorities from voting with little tricks like poll taxes and literacy tests. But, the conservatives on the court, all excited from being born yesterday, said racism had been cured, and that laws against voter suppression were unnecessary, relics of a bygone era like cassette tapes or moderate Republicans. They said that other than shopping at Barney’s there was no evidence anymore that black people needed special protection. Come on, it’s 2013, they’re dating Kardashians now.

During arguments for the case Justice Roberts actually asked, with a straight face and a cocked head, ‘Is it the government’s submission that the citizens of the South are more racist than the citizens of the North?’ (Feb 27, 2013). Well, for example, in the last election, 66% of whites in Vermont voted for our black President, 10% of whites in Mississippi did, so maybe a tad. And the South, after all, was responsible for enslaving black people, and Jim Crow, and the KKK, and lynchings…I’m going to go with yes.

So, what happened after the court changed the law? Within 48 hours Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, South Carolina, Virginia all moved to make it harder for minorities to vote. The court was proved thunderously wrong in less time than it takes Miley Cyrus to get dressed. Same thing happened with the Citizens United ruling. President Obama said in his 2010 State Of The Union speech that the Supreme Court had quote opened the floodgates for special interests to spend without limits in our elections. And, Justice Alito famously was shown mouthing the words not true. Turns out (Mahr mouths the word true). Of course, left to their own devices the filthy rich, I’m sorry I mean America’s job creators. It turned out that they did indeed sway elections with billions from God knows where. Creepy billionaire Sheldon Adelson and his wife…they alone spent 150 million dollars in 2012. Money he mainly got from owning a casino in China, just as the founders envisioned. And yet, Justice Kennedy, writing for the majority from his tower in Whoville, said ‘independent expenditures, including those made by corporations, do not give rise to corruption or the appearance of corruption.’ (January 21, 2010). Which is true, except for always.

John McCain called that naive, which of course it is, and it highlights a very real problem with today’s conservatives. They are just too sentimental about how wonderful America is. Racism, that’s over. Monied interests, they couldn’t corrupt us if they tried. Conservatives act like they’re tough as nails realists, but they cry at fireworks. And, they get a warm morning in America feeling thinking about lighthouses and farmers and the smell of pie. And, they just can’t believe that Americans, God’s chosen and wonderful people, maybe you’ve heard, we’re exceptional, would ever do anything as corrupt as, Yea we would! Twice in the last three years the court believed in us and twice Americans basically said what John Belushi said in Animal House, you bleeped up, you shouldn’t have trusted us.”

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Jay Leno “Secretary of State John Kerry said that Arab countries have offered to pay the entire cost of unseating Syria’s president, if we take the lead militarily. They will pay for the whole thing. See, this is how global politics works. We invade Syria, to get money from Saudi Arabia, that they got from us, from putting their oil in our Japanese cars, so we can pay back China all the money we owe them.”


Sandra Day O’Connor “The more I read and the more I listen, the more apparent it is that our society suffers from an alarming degree of public ignorance….Less than 1/3 of eighth graders can identify the historical purpose of the Declaration of Independence, and it’s right there in the name.”