Jon Stewart “Here is something I do not get to say very much at all lately, good news from the Middle East.”
Reporter “A 12 hour humanitarian cease-fire between Israel and Hamas.”
Reporter “There were no civilians being shelled, there were no rockets in the skies of Tel Aviv.”
Stewart “Finally, a cease-fire that, OK 12 hours. It’s only scheduled to last as long as a decent dose of Sudafed. But still, it is some relief, we can build on this.”
Reporter “Sunday, it took all of 10 minutes for the fragile cease-fire expired at 8am for Hamas to send rockets into Israel.”
Stewart “Bleep! I guess the real question was what was going on during those 10 minutes. ‘Hello, people. Humanitarian cease-fire ended 10 minutes ago. Tick tock. The never ending hatred in this region isn’t going to bomb itself'”.
Reporter “The UN Security Council called for an immediate, unconditional cease-fire.”
Stewart “Boom! Unconditional! Not that such resolutions are in any way enforceable or meaningful. But still, when a resolution is issued…”
Reporter “The United Nations Security Council took action with a statement, not a resolution.”
Stewart “Even a resolution was too much? ‘Guys, I don’t know. A resolution seems pretty stern, pretty stern guys. Even a statement, I don’t know. What’s the death toll? A thousand and growing? What about we just jump in with a hmm, hey guys. You know, if that gets push back, we can take it down a notch. I mean, we’re only a collection of the world’s super powers'”.