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Bill Maher “But, she’s (Michele Bachmann) not the only person in Washington who would be more comfortable on American Horror Story, in an interview this week, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says he believes the devil is a real person, who’s running around getting people to not believe in God.  What can I say, I started to blush.  Blush and laugh, because reasonable people, you know them, they usually see Michele Bachmann as a total loon, but Scalia as a serious intellectual, when actually, they’re the exact same idiot.  Scalia says in the interview that he’s puzzled that the Devil is all over the New Testament but we don’t see him around any more.  Oh yea, back in the old days Satan was like Miley Cyrus’ tongue, he was everywhere.  But you know, this Devil not being around any more thing, it’s not something that puzzles me.  In fact, usually when I hear someone talking like this, it’s when I’m dropping change in their cup.  But, somehow the lack of Beelzebub sightings positively mystifies the leading legal mind in conservative America.  Scalia says (October 6, 2013) ‘In the Gospels, the Devil is doing all sorts of things.  He’s making pigs run off cliffs, he’s possessing people and what not.  And that doesn’t happen very much anymore.’  I kept waiting for the transcript to say ha ha, just bleeping with you.  Pigs running off cliffs?  Hey, leave the debt ceiling deniers out of this.  And what is Justice Scalia’s theory as to why we don’t see the Devil any more?  Is it the logical answer, that fictions like the Devil are in the Bible because it was written before the age of science, when humans didn’t know where the sun went at night, and is obviously a reflection of mankind’s thinking in his intellectual infancy?  Of course not, that makes sense.  What Scalia said about the Devil is ‘He used to be all over the New Testament…What happened to him?…He got wilier.’  Of course.  Wilier.  He may be evil, but he’s always looking to improve himself.  Antonin Scalia once said that people like him who adhere to traditional beliefs were quote regarded as simple-minded.  We are, he said, fools for Christ.  You know, whether you’re fools for Christ or cuckoo for Coco Puffs I really don’t care why someone acts like a fool, just that they do, and when they do we keep them away from decision making.  It would be one thing if Mr Scalia sold pizza for a living, but this is a man we go to to interpret our laws.  It’s like smelling a gas leak and calling an exorcist.  Antonin Scalia put George W Bush in the White House and he believes the Devil went down to Georgia.  He gets to decide when life begins and he thinks evil is a person, you know, like a corporation.  Here’s the problem with believing the Devil exists, it means you see the world divided into teams of good and evil and suspect the wiley one may be on the side of them.  And when you start see compromising with your opponents as a compromise with evil, well there’s your tea party.”

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